Changes

A couple of weeks ago I came home from work to find Mike very upset. He was staring at his computer screen applying for as many jobs as he could. He turned around when he saw me and said I'd better start packing we were being kicked out. That sent me into a panic with me the only one working we were barely making ends meet as it was, let alone trying to find a new place to go and have to pay rent on top of it.

Needless to say I had a total breakdown that day, and I scared one of my best friend's half to death when she called me and I was crying so hard I could barely breathe let alone talk to her. I managed to choke out that I'd call her back, but she only gave me two minutes before she called me back in a panic, thinking something was seriously wrong and I couldn't breathe. She was on the verge of calling an ambulance for me. I managed to calm down enough to calm her down, then after talking to my sister Melinda I followed her advice and started looking up nearby apartments. The trouble was our three dogs, most of the apartments I looked at would only accept two and I knew if I had to I could give Jack back to Dad, but I didn't want to do that. I owe Jack my life the least I can do is give Jack a good one in return.

I heard back from the manager at Mountain Shadows Apartments about half an hour after I sent out e-mails to apartments that didn't give a lot of info on their pet policies. I asked how many pets were allowed and if they had a weight limit because a lot of places do. Jennifer, the manager there, told me that they had no weight limit. I told her we had three dogs and what breeds they were and she said even though they normally only allow two pets she'd make an exception for us because two of them were small. Plus it would only be $40 extra a month for all three of them instead of paying for them individually. I couldn't believe our luck. So we went down the following Monday to actually see the apartment, and despite that it's small, we love it. We could afford it if we were careful with our money so we went ahead and put down a deposit on it.

They even told us they could have it ready for us July 6th so that is when we are moving, within our three week time period that Arla gave us. Then on Wednesday Mike was offered a job, not only that a job he liked and he gets paid almost twice what I get paid. So he rubbed that in my face. I was very grateful and at the same time I felt very guilty. On Friday when I was having my breakdown and I had thought that maybe God had forgotten about us, that he'd stopped listening, or simply didn't care. I'd been so angry.

Of course as soon as Jennifer agreed to let us take our three dogs I instantly felt regret and I was on my knees instantly begging for forgivness as well as thanking him. I've always turned to my favorite poem when I've been most troubled because it makes me think that maybe, just maybe, while I'm focusing on just the one set of footprints in the sand I'm not focusing on whose prints they are and that this may be one of those times that the Lord is carrying me. I'm going to add it here because I just love the way this poem makes me feel.

Footprints In The Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky,
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was only one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could only see one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord, that if I followed you,
You would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you the most, have you not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"My blessed child, I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trials and sufferings,
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

After Mike got his job this past week, and we found a place to live where we can take all three dogs, and knowing we won't starve I know that it wasn't that God wasn't listening, that he wasn't paying attention or that he'd stopped caring. He hadn't done any of those things. He was just looking at the whole picture while we can only see one tiny piece of the puzzle. Everything happens for a reason, I realize that now, and I'm so grateful for the blessings we've been given this week. Perhaps this was a test of faith for me, and I was tried to my limits, but then God made me see that in times of my hardest sufferings and trials I can always turn to him for help.

Mike and I have had trouble dealing with strangers coming in to look at the house for a while now. People can't seem to keep their hands to themselves when then come to look. They pet and play with our puppies, play our piano, eat our candy and throw wrappers on the floor. We've even had some things go missing right after they've left. So now Mike and I will have a place of our own where no one will come in and pet our dogs unless we tell them it's ok, no one will touch our things, take our things, or eat our food without our permission.

I've decided to give the piano to my sister-in-law Becky. We won't have room for it and it is an old old piano that weighs a ton, it'd be a pain moving it time and time again. We can always get another piano later when we buy a house in the future.

Arla also called this week. She is trying to get a job and saw that the Post Office is still hiring people where I work. I wasn't surprised they are always hiring. So Arla asked me how to apply for that position. I had to go online and look myself because they've changed it a lot since I got the job over two years ago. And before anyone sends me any hate messages complaining about the Post Office - I don't actually deal with mail pieces. I key images as they come onto a computer screen, that's it. What happens to them after they leave my screen is beyond my control. If it's return to sender, or postage needed, we are just keying what we are instructed to key. That's beyond us to do anything about it. I helped Arla get to the right place she needed to be so she could fill out an application. I'm a little worried about it though, I don't know if she understands just how stressful my job is. They expect you to be fast and accurate and if you get over a certain error % rate they fire you. Also if you are late even once you don't stand a chance for a career position, and they might fire you. If you are one of those lazy people who like to have a job but like to call in sick they fire you. When I was first hired on they put you on a trail period and when I came to the end of that my manager told me she was surprised to find someone my age with so much responisbility. I'm always on time, usually forty-fifty minutes early and I just read until my shift starts. I'm never absent, never call in sick, and I'm over 100% in every platform I key. I've had three different managers there now. My newest manager after I traded shifts told me I was a model employee and she said if all the other employees were like me we'd have a perfect REC. But I work hard at my job to be the best I can be. It isn't easy and yes I get stressed out a lot sometimes. But I still give it 110% all the time. It might seem like a laid back job, sit in a cubicle, listening to movies, music, audio books or anything else you want to listen to all day, but they also monitor your speed, your accuracy, and your breaks. Any mistakes and they catch you on it. It's a hard job - but I love it. I've never had a better one.

So over all, Mike and I have a new home, he has a new job, Mike, the dogs and I will stay together as a family, I'm doing great at my job, we aren't going to starve, and we will at last have a place to call our own where no one will barge in to look at it whenever they want. I look forward to being able to afford a house some day soon. Now that we can afford to do so we are going to start setting money aside so we can buy a house - a place we can truly call our own.